Estranged... a lamentation!

 

It was your anniversary a week ago!

Did you miss my gift for you? I was the only one who would come down on holiday with a bag full of gifts for everyone. Did you reflect on how I single handedly advocated for you when the entire household was against your marriage? Did you think about all those hunger strikes and sleepless crying nights that came to end because I fought for you and made our parents agree?

You must have had your hands full today!

Did you wish I was there to help you with the children? You always preferred me over our mother, to take care of your baby. How wouldn't you, I did the same for you when you were a baby! 

You must have been out of recipes this morning!

Did you wish I was there to teach you something new and easy, which you could easily make while managing two toddlers and no maid?

You must have hurt yourself while cutting the vegetables today!

Did you think how comforting it would have been if I was a shout out away? Even when you had an accident at 4 years of age and was bandaged, you didn't cry out, "Amma", it was only "Chechi"....never "Amma", always "chechi".

The kids must have been a handful today!

Does your elder one ask about "Valyamma"? Does she look for me, her dance partner when 'Baby Shark' plays on the TV? 

What does the younger one say? Who does she look like? What did I do wrong that you never let me even see her?

The girls might have been fussy today!

Did you wish I was there to feed them? Did you think, 'if my chechi was here, she would feed them so patiently that they would eat the full plate'?

and......It was your birthday today!

Did you think of me when you cut your cake? Ever since you could stand on your feet and grasp with your hands, we always celebrated our birthdays together either on yours or on mine or on any of the two days in between them. We cut the cake together. ALWAYS! 

There was this 9 year old who prayed for your birth...prayed for a sister, and never put her down from day 1.

There was this teenager who experimented different dishes to make it look fancy so you, a fussy toddler, would enjoy her food. 

There was this adolescent whose clothes and shoes you would forever adopt and show off in. 

There was this best friend whom you would confide in, with everything under the sun. 

And now there is this stranger with all these memories.